Current Book: This Time I Dance

This Time I Dance
How one Harvard lawyer left it all to have it all!

by Tama Kieves
www.awakeningartistry.com


"I wanted to read the story of someone who really honored their gifts and put them into the world---what they thought, chose, felt, wished for, and how they faced fear, depression, the judgment of others, and horrendous self-doubt. I was tired of reading experts and easy steps. I wanted someone to tell me how they got through all the emotions that come up and found their way through murky territory. So I wrote that book. I wrote it to talk myself into creative centeredness and boldness and I wrote it for everyone else."



I had nightmares the first few days I started reading this book. Soaking from a cold sweat, I would wake up and get the urge to write because something in me- my body, my dreams- was begging to get out; a knowingness that had been suppressed until the words in this book stirred me.

Eight months ago I reached a point where I could no longer stand putting my life on hold while waking up every day to be led by poor leaders whose training and compassion came from online tutorials, and whose messages were distant and uninspiring.

So I made a call that I had been putting off for a year. Despite the voices in my mind telling me to wait until I "gained some experience", until I had "something to bring to the table", I called and asked if I could do anything to exercise my passion for horses. I've been with the horses now longer than I was at my corporate job, and I am so sparklingly happy. Making that call was my first way to acknowledge my own dreams.

Today, I just barely pay the bills by working independently- with horses, with entrepreneurs and small businesses- but my dreams still feel so cloudy and I still feel so uncertain about my future.

I read This Time I Dance because the title jumped out at me from the shelf while do working in my little borrowed office. I don't make a habit of reading "self-help" books, but I decided to read a bit until I lost interest. This didn't happen. I laughed, and cried, and recited whole passages from the book to the audience of my boyfriend and cat. It was so good to know that I wasn't alone in the confusion and doubt while creating my own work. I felt like I finally had someone who understood; who could hold my hand and tell me that I am neither lost nor alone.