Doing and not just "managing".
I have often felt a deficit over the course of my quarter century for not identifying with a specific category. At the very least, I felt like an outsider.
In high school I led the trumpet section in pep, jazz, concert and marching bands; I co-captained my high school tennis and volleyball teams while training for half-marathons outside of school; I passed with flying colors nearly all of the AP classes offered to me, and I took math classes until my school had nothing left. In short: a band geek, a jock, and a nerd, all on the most extreme levels. I recognized that I was interested in ALL of the activities, and not just one.
In college, in addition to knowing that I was interested in many things, I now realized that I could not live through just one aspect of myself without feeling like something was being sacrificed. The feeling of sacrifice ate at me internally until I I decided to quit the life of 1st Division college rowing so that I could have time to rock climb, learn to sail, and to travel.
My anger and frustration upon graduating stemmed from feeling betrayed: I'd been duped by The System into believing that college would prepare me for life, and yet there I was with rapidly dwindling finances, no understanding of health insurance, and no solid skills from academia to launch into the world. I had so many more skills from my own experiences than from what was certified in my diploma. I was angry- Why did it seem as though I was expected to choose just one passion when so many more were still left to be discovered?
Luckily, I was fairly familiar with this System, and was hired despite the bad economy into a good entry level job, located in a downtown skyscraper. I filed the correct paperwork. Like a child trying on her mother's clothes, I dutifully read the fine print, signed the dotted line, and then 401k's and health insurance abounded. I came to realize that my salary was my bribe. I was paid to limit my other passions to the hours between 5pm and 8am. I was paid to not leave my job out of boredom and frustration in a scenario where all I owned was the task of the smallest cog in a very large machine, performed in a borrowed chair, sitting at a borrowed desk, during a time span that I did not decide. Fairly rapidly I knew that I preferred less money and more passion in my life. I learned that I could not live without this passion when I left my first desk job after a year and a half. I found a job that SORT OF fulfilled my criteria. I had a more flexible schedule, and more relaxed environment, and slightly more stimulating work.
But I don't think that the Universe accepts "sort of". I found an environment that felt "sort of" entrepreneurial and leading edge, but I continued to accept payment in exchange for performing work for which I could claim no ownership. I was terminated from my second desk job after only six months.
I've been brainstorming, volunteering, reading, and waiting most of my life for The Answer. You probably know what I mean when I say "The Answer"; it shouts at some people throughout their youth, telling them that they want to be pilots or ballerinas or nurses; or that they want to save the world, work with children, help animals.
And so I admire entrepreneurs; people who work doggedly, fueled by passion, to define and redefine who they are in effort to communicate their vision. It's okay to bring work home at night, because their work is an extension of their love, and a part of their life. How could that be bad?